Standing Still

Shortly before I fell off the social media planet I met with a publisher for the devotional I have spent two years working on.
I felt proud of the work and effort I poured into this. I am proud of the women (who’s names I have changed) who were brave enough to tell their stories and share intimate pieces of their life as a means to provide hope to others. I had my proposal and my chest puffed up.

Then came my meeting. I presented my proposal, my vision. And all my pride began to fall. She used phrases like: “not unique,” and “seen it before.” While, I later realized this was not necessarily rejection it was hard to swallow initially. She also gave me a list of ways to improve my overall vision in order to make it ‘more marketable.’

This threw a wrench in my writing as I planned to be getting published right now, not to expound and revamp. But my plans do not often work out perfectly. This is disappointing to a Type A personality like myself, but it’s an opportunity for this thirsty soul to cling to the Lord.

Often, in the past, if a roadblock halted me from doing what I felt God was calling me to do then I would ask questions like “why?” Now, when my work is brought to a standstill I ask, “what do you want me to learn.”

I have learned the necessity of taking breaks and letting go. I have learned how to be braver in a fearful climate. I have learned to listen instead of being heard.

Much of this was learned while also being pregnant and taking care of three children so even my writing took a backseat to the lessons I needed to learn. It may feel as if I’m standing still but God is always moving! I am hopeful. I know this book and these words are not for me to boast of myself but to boast of the work of Christ.

While my devotional is not in a publishing house, yet. I take heart knowing that God’s plan is perfect and good.

Cover Photo by Ameen Fahmy on Unsplash