Rest

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

If you skimmed that verse, go back and really let it seep in.

I had always skimmed it. Knowing, in my “devout holiness”, exactly what this meant: He’ll give me rest. I just assumed when I was tired and longing for that rest, reprieve would be granted immediately. But look closely, Jesus says: “Come to me.”

He knows exactly what I need and will freely give but He calls me (& you) to Himself. He says “take my yoke,” which if you live a farm life or have read any of the Little House series, you’d know is the same thing used to connect two oxen or cows together. And He wants connectedness with each one of us.

So, here I was working hard to do good works, to please and help others around me, to serve family, friends, and anyone else that came my way and I needed rest. We all need rest from time to time so that we can be better examples of who God created us to be. But I wasn’t running to the Lord for that rest.

Sure, I was praying and reading His word (though, if I got too busy, that was something that was pushed to the wayside). I just assumed that because all the work I was doing was for His glory He wasn’t ready for me to rest.

However, when I was convicted by others to lean on Christ more and forced by an inevitable shutdown and the even more inevitable breakdown, I heard Him. In His word, through His people and in my discomfort I finally listened and went TO HIM to find rest. I had to do what the scripture says “learn from [him]” exactly what rest should look like.

Rest didn’t look like a good night’s sleep or a weekend getaway to restore my faculties and gusto. I felt pushed to pull away from ministries I spent years of my life serving. I felt inclined to turn away from the stress and anxiety of social media. I even reexamined the structure of my homeschool.

I had less worry controlling my thoughts. I had less input on everything I ought to do better. I had less emails to rummage through and answer. I questioned God’s intentions way less. I asked less of my children. I had less desire for a perfectly clean and perfectly functioning home because no one was watching and no one cared. I had less proving myself, less things to manage, less.

I gained less.

And, just because I’m ‘back’ doesn’t mean I’m taking on more. I find rest to be a necessity and there are some things I’m not ready to take back. But, I am working on balance. And I’m doing it tied to Jesus, learning from Him.

Photo by Sabri Tuzcu on Unsplash