A Letter to My Father
It's fathers day. Today men and women all around voice their love or respect for their fathers. And while I spent many years having little of either for my own dad, I want to spend time tonight writing to the man that spent the majority of his life being my dad.
Dear Daddy,
You always will be my daddy. You took care of me when no one else would. You taught me everything I needed to know and what you didn’t teach me you instilled in me perseverance that allowed me to teach myself.
Growing up, you were the apple of my eye. The. Most. Incredible. Man. You were careful, careless, and carefree. I could tell you were utterly confused by having a daughter and you had two. But you were a superhero in my eyes. You taught me about fractions while cooking dinner every night, because that's the kind of dad you are. You cooked dinner, nightly. You made it clear that homework was a priority.
There was a side of you, however, that I didn’t love much. The part of you that frequently used your words to sting. The mistakes you made with consequences bigger than yourself. I wasted too many years resenting you. But that was when I yearned for perfection. A perfect father doesn't exist and I know that now.
Luckily, I know my Heavenly Father and I have seen the love He gives and the ways He can fill the places you simply could not. This doesn't mean I love you less. In fact, it means I love you more. I have accepted you. I haven't lowered my standards, they've always been fairly high. I've just come to accept that you're imperfect as am I. I have learned to forgive. I have learned to forgive you. I have learned to start anew. I learned this from the way I've been redeemed through Christ. I have accepted that you, too, are a child of God.
You weren't always the daddy I desired. You weren't the dad who would draw me out of the storm. You weren't the dad that pursued me relentlessly. But you weren't meant to be. You were the dad who stayed even when you could have walked away. When I felt alone in the world you could definitely make me smile.
Never in a million years did I think I would want to be close with you, but here I am writing you a letter for everyone to see. Because I love you. And I know that you are loved. I know that God wants to redeem you. He wants good things for your life and while you may not see that or think you don't deserve it, I know it's true. I can see how God is working to renew your life through the loving wife you've gained nearly seven years ago and through your relationships with your grandkids. I love the way your eyes light up when you see my little boys. And I love that every time I look into their big blue eyes I can see you.
Love, Me
My prayer on this Father's Day is that regardless of the relationship you have with your own father each one of you would learn of a father who saves.
