Turn Worry into Worship
The clouds loom overhead, the sky grows a dimmer grey. Soon and steady water drops ease softly down the window pane until at last the sky takes a deep sigh in and exhales a booming thunder and gust of rain. For days this continues. There are brief moments of sunshine peering out as if letting us know its still alive in its own hostage situation, but alas, the sun waves goodbye and we brave into another dark moment.
These dreary days are difficult for a person like me with an anxiety disorder and a struggle with clinical depression. But then the dreadful situation that is the Covid-19 Pandemic happens and it can begin to feel overwhelmingly worrisome.
Let me take you back to the 5th century BCE when a powerful Pharaoh finally became fed up with a powerful God and released the Israelite nation after a series of plagues. This nation of Israelite people was led by a man named Moses. As he led his people through wilderness and across the land they came to a vast sea before them. What to do? Meanwhile, Pharaoh changed his mind and decided to go after the Israelites with his army of 600. So, standing there with a large body of water before him and his people and then turning around to the cries of battle from the Egyptians behind them, Moses was likely a tad worried. Like, I can only picture him saying, “God, I’ve been pretty trusting. I’ve done and said a lot of things that most people thought was a little crazy but, I’m struggling to see how you’re going to get us out of this one.”
But, what did God say? Ya’ll it gets so good. He said, “BE STILL.” (Ex 14:14)
As I pray for my medical professional friends and family during this chaotic time, pray for my grandfather in the hospital, pray for my business owner friends who are losing a lot of profit and feeling financially unstable, pray for my elderly relatives who are high risk, pray for my friends with ex-cancer kids, and many others it’s very easy for me to feel worried. I’m a natural worrier.
So, here’s what I try to do when I am feeling overwhelmingly anxious. (I say try, because I’m human and fail at about every single thing I do.) In times when the weather dampens my mood, politics feels like a loss, or the world seems to be falling apart altogether, I take the Lord’s advice and I become still. Here’s what that looks like:
I inhale a deep 20 second breath and exhale for the another 20 seconds, intentionally thanking God for knowing what’s next.
I close my eyes (sometimes put in earplugs b/c #kids) and slow down my breathing, repeating a mantra of some sort: ‘you got this,’ ‘you love me,’ ‘this will pass,’ etc.
I sit outside when the sun is out and listen for the birds.
I stop whatever I’m doing and watch for a few minutes what my boys are doing, even if it’s messy. I rejoice in the memories being made.
I write in a journal. Specifically, I share my deep and raw emotions but am usually able to see that the circumstance does not elicit nearly as much concern as I’d given it.
I write on post-its 3 things I am thankful for right that second and hang them on the walls.
I reread the post-its deployed on walls and cupboards of my home.
I open my Bible and read a Psalm, usually, and pray for the words to resonate in my heart.
I cry. I just let little tears stream down my face for a few minutes.
I find other believers around me who love me to help me determine if I’m being overdramatic.
I ping-pong my thoughts off my husband, too, and sometimes we sit closely and I listen to his heart beat.
These are several of the things I do when worry gets to be too much for me. But overall, I have to turn to the Lord. I cannot do any of these things on my own.
And *spoiler alert, God concluded to Moses, after commanding that He be still and not worry, to raise His hand over the sea and with a mighty wind the waters parted. What water are you waiting to have parted before you? Are you in the trenches with buckets trying to clear it yourself? Just wait. Be still. Your Creator will get you through.
