Resolve to Trust Him
Talk about a reformed view of self. 2019 was a year of growth and discovery.
This past year, God stretched me outside of my comfort zone. Once I began digging into struggles God revealed roots of the deep seeded insecurities I’ve had since as long as I can remember.
And the thing is, those insecurities were comfortable. I felt safe there. I may not have been aware of all my insecurities but once they were revealed I was both ready to let them go while holding on desperately to the known.
Despite believing I was letting go of apart of myself, who I am never changed. Actually, God already chose who I was. He already chose You. The thing is, we don’t always agree with the perfect Creator. I don’t always believe Him. At least I haven’t.
I believed His promises. I believed His love. I struggled to believe what He called me.
Addressing the root causes of my insecurities didn’t change what God said about me or better yet, it didn’t change what He did for me. It did, however, open my eyes to how much I lack. I became aware of how broken I am. I found that trusting His word has to be a daily choice.
And sometimes, letting go of your past feels like a loss but if it’s not truth letting go will only bring more life - not less. I still struggle to listen to encouragement or disapproval from others as the source of life but when I hold tighter to His truth I can appreciate a compliment and thank God, I can let go of an insult and trust God.
I am who He says I am. I am loved. I am an heir. I am forgiven. I am known. I am His.
I don’t know what you’ve been struggling with, maybe: past mistakes, unforgiveness toward those who hurt you, a lack of reconciliation with someone, or attacks on your heart.
But what I do know is none of those things define you. Just like I am not defined by the insecurity of abandonment, being unloveable, or someone’s perception of me.
Definition can only come from the one who created the one being defined.
So, am I entering the new year with a new identity? Well, no. But I am ringing in another year clinging to Christ more, begging He would continue to refine me, choosing to trust Him entirely.
