Let's Talk about Depression

A few weeks ago I posted the caption "let's talk about depression" on my Instagram. I had an overwhelming response to that post and want to follow up. 

First, depression is a lot of things and can manifest differently for different people but it is NOT a sign of weakness. 

I was told a lot growing up to "suck it up" or "get over it" as if my feelings were pointless or invaluable. Now, my feelings may not have been leading me into truthful thinking but they were my feelings nonetheless. Snuffing out those emotions only brought me one more thing to dwell in: shame. 
I, personally, do not think there is value in wallowing in our emotions. I also do not believe it's wise to stay in the pit. However, it is important to have a place or person to express those feelings too in a safe way. 

Sometimes it's difficult to come out of the “funk,” the “numbness,” the plain lethargy. In my moments of hopelessness I want to turn to friends and I want to turn to God but sometimes, physically, I can't. I have no way to explain it except that there are times I need a literal or metaphorical push from someone close. I need a push to move in the right direction. I need to hear truth. I need just a second of encouragement. Because of the solid foundation I have in Christ when I hear that trigger of love and truth I am able to pivot my thoughts to those of the Lord.

I have struggled on an off my entire life with depression but it wasn't until I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression three MONTHS after the birth of my first son that I truly got help for it. Historically, I just "dealt" with it.  I sulked, I slept, I got angry and became irritable, I thought about death. But I thought I was crazy and that was how I was always going to be forever. That idea was painful. That’s why we need special people to speak truth into us so we can maybe see a little clearer and possibly get ourselves help. 

Our feelings are real but they do not always provide reliability. That's the thing. Listening to our heart is great and all until our heart begins to tell us lies. My mind is so clouded by grief or empty sadness that I cannot decipher truth from lie. Sometimes medication is the answer. Medication can allow for the ability to focus; the possibility of taking a deep breath and feeling the Holy Spirit wash over you. 

But all the time Jesus is the answer. Again, I understand the inability to get out of bed. I understand the clouded thoughts, the gloomy disposition, the intolerance for life. I understand. I also understand the hope of Christ. I easily miss seeing His grace or His goodness when I am in my pit of despair but when my faith is rooted deeply in my heart I just need a little water to help clear the muck away. Through medication or not-so-subtle reminders from friends I am able to draw my focus back to the Lord. I am able to fold my hands and pray deeply and intentionally. When I cry out in my vulnerability I am met with hope. When I go to God in prayer I find myself able to move through the motions of the day a little quicker than the day before. When I continue to go to God with my burdens and my pain I find myself rejoicing more. 

I don't mean to minimize depression; to say that if you believe in God you'll be healed. I already wrote about that. I mean to express that having a firm foundation (Matt 7:24-27) will offer a hope for your depression. 

Don't let this diagnosis or feeling be your identity. Depression, anxiety, abuse: those are not who I am. Those words do not define me. I am defined my Lord and Savior as an heir to the throne; and that's nothing to be sad about.