You are More than a Mom

I love being a mom. Almost more than anything else. Being a mom (even a new mom) comes with so much joy but also a lot of grief and guilt.

Recently, I have felt unworthy. Unworthy of people. Unworthy of my position on my writing team. Unworthy of my husband. Unworthy to be a mother.

I have let words penetrate to the deepest parts of me, stinging and piercing. I have let words (some intended for growth) shake me up and leave me asking “who am I?” If you believe to be working diligently on becoming a stronger more intentional wife, friend, mother and overall person when someone tells you that you’re failing it feels like a blow. But what part of you does this damage?

Some of the words I’d use to describe myself: wife, mother, homeschool teacher, writer, blogger, friend are not bad or incorrect words. These are actual parts of me. These titles are the God-given purposes of my life. These are not bad things. These are beautiful parts of me. But if that’s where my identity ends I am left with sadness, loneliness, grief, jealousy and incompleteness.

My identity has also been grounded in self-pity, anger, sarcasm, fear, rebellion, and judgement. If I let all who I am be defined by those words I am left with even greater despair. I am left with anxiety and depression and hopelessness.

But those words, not one single one of those words, are MY IDENTITY.

God gave us all the parts that made us who we are; including the hard parts. And recently, I have been made aware, by God working in my heart, that I have been placing a lot of my hope in myself and not in Him. I have noted that my own sufficiency could pull me away from my struggle with anger but yet I haven’t given up control. I have gleamed pridefully in my children and boasted when they succeed and grieved a personal loss when they release their childish folly and foolish hearts.

Being a mother is hard work. Being a woman is hard work.

But when I put my identity in just that I am met with disappointment.

In their littleness, children will not meet all your needs.
Your husband will never meet all of your needs and fulfill all of your hopes.
Your job will not fulfill every desire of your heart.
Your pride will gladly disappoint you.
Your control will reveal instability.

You are not who people think you are. You are not who people want you to be. You are not better OR worse than what you think of yourself.

You are only defined by a loving, forgiving, merciful God. God says you a precious. God says you are redeemed, an heir to His Kingdom, fearfully made for a specific purpose. (Galatians 4:7 , Ephesians 1:7 , Psalm 139:14, Jeremiah 29:11.)

God says you are more than just a mom.  More than just a momma covered in spit up. More than the keeper of the milk. More than the cuddler and kisser of babies. More than the tears, the piles of laundry, the time outs, the maintainer of dinner, the minivan driver.

God made you to be a mother but He also made you His daughter. He created you for a purpose: to create disciples. 

You are more than a mom.  

You are His.