Feeling Free

Recently, my husband and I decided to go through ReGeneration (& if a church near you has this- it is well worth attending!).

Even more recently, I found myself sharing pieces of my past I’ve been too ashamed to share before.

I shared the parts of me that have hurt people deeply. I shared sin that has been so deeply enmeshed I thought that was where my identity lay.

I couldn’t be certain the people I was sharing with would react negatively or not. I knew I chose trustworthy people, women who have been apart of my life for years. But I also knew others had still not forgiven me for things I had done.

Would others be capable of looking beyond what I’ve done and see who I am?

If you have never messed up, made enemies, hurt someone, broken trust, been dishonest, or basically made a mistake this post is NOT for you.

I have messed up. I have burned bridges. I have, for no good reason, thrown away actual friendships simply out of selfish arrogance. I have called names, insulted, judged, and lied.

I have done some of those things more recently than even I’d like to admit, but I will.

And that’s the thing, just like me, when we make mistakes we don’t own it right away but selfishly tell ourselves we are/were right. Just like me, you may have made changes, worked hard to be better and yet the damage done seems irreparable.

And maybe it is. Life isn’t over, yet. But what I do know is regardless of what you’ve done, where you’ve been, or who you were your identity is not founded in those things. If you trust Jesus, your life is defined by His words. And if you live like Jesus, even though you’ll make mistakes, people will see the change in you.

If you were wondering the ending to the story… did they run screaming when they heard my past, my regrets?

The answer: No.

Actually, my confession was met with prayer. James 5:16a, “Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

Even though I have not killed anyone or done anything the worlds standards would disapprove of, I have hurt people. I have made choices that God says boldly He disapproves of.

And through confession I am being healed. I am not done yet. But I am experiencing freedom.